My last day with You

Your flight for New York City left thirteen minutes ago. This all came too soon.

Today, I've been on that thin line of emotions, because this is the day, that you left me.

I woke up, against my body's desire to sleep, drove to your house, and walked up to your room.

 Your door was open, that was weird. 

I took my shoes off before I entered, so I wouldn't wake you up, I got so close to just sneaking in your bed unnoticed, until I put my keys down. Your eyes cracked open, and you smiled. I smiled back, and you held up the covers so I could get in. 

You're the best that way. You love sleeping. 

We didn't say anything, for awhile. Which never really happens. I am always yapping. But today, this was it. 

Our last lazy morning together, and I wanted to bask a little bit longer- and not have it be ruined by my pointless words.

Today,though, was full of a lot of goodbyes, and we had to get a move on. 

As you got up and showered, I just lay in your bed. Trying to pause time with my mind, and trying to make sure I got every detail of your room, so on rainy days, I could remember it just right.

A few hugs and a shaved beard later- we were off. 

Our last trip to Tooele together.
You've always loved the drive, and next to you, it's the place I call home.
The weather was over cast and rainy, and although you wanted it to be sunny, I felt comforted that the weather felt just like me today.
When we got there, the house was empty. It's never empty. 

But, it was a perfect chance to give you the gift I've been wanting to for awhile.

 And although you opened it, and seemed happy. 

I always feel so sappy and stupid with the gifts I give you. 

And, while making us some Top Ramen, I started crying, and you had me dance with you, just to make me stop.
The family came, and amazingly enough didn't say a word about "you making a mistake about leaving me behind", and I was glad it didn't stress you out. 

They love you, just like they love me, and it makes me swell with happiness, that you are already family to them.

On the drive back home, we tried to go and see the big rock out by the Great Salt Lake, but I couldn't seem to find the way to it, so, after driving on back roads, and pulling in view areas, and taking pictures the entire time, we decided we should just head back home instead. 

Time seemed to be going by so quickly. 

When we got to your house, we sat in the car awhile and talked, while I kept crying on and off. I was trying to be so good, at this whole not crying thing. 

I am sorry I am such a baby. I blame genetics, really.
We went inside, and you got your hair cut. 

I got teary eyed at the start, but I put in a lemon mamba, and pulled through. 

Mostly because I think you're so handsome with short hair. 

You look so proper, like, you should wear a tux every day.
So, after your thrilling hair cut, we rushed to your grandparents house for dinner. 

And the meal, was practically all vegetables, and I couldn't have been more thrilled.
 I think your grandparents are the best.
They have the best stories, and such a cute sense of humor. 

I hope, if I ever grow old with you, or anyone, that I can turn out half as good as your grandparents.  

After dinner, we headed back to your house, it was 7pm now, and things had to be done.

 So after checking all of the luggage weight, and putting in odds and ends, you asked me to go down stairs with you. It was the last time, I'd be in that room with you.  

You haven't ever felt the need to decorate your room, and I think it's funny that you have all the loose ends from everyone else's decorating.

And, we talked, and said the things that were on our minds, and I cried more. And you brought in some flowers, candy, and a letter for me. 

(I knew you were being funny when you asked what my favorite candy was..)
But, even still, I was so happy, you, and your family are so sweet. I probably didn't express it enough, but it meant the world to me.

I gave you my letter shortly after words, and that was the first time I felt comfortable having someone open, or read things I give them in front of me.  

After awhile, we went back up stairs, and spent your last hour with your parents, brother and sister. 

Your whole family is funny, and I always feel so comfortable around them.

We packed the bags in the cars, and headed to the airport. 

That car ride was hard, and mostly silent until we started reaching the airport.

 I started panicking. 

Of course, leave it to me. 

This was it. 

Where everything stops. Where my heart races, and my minds pounding.

After getting everything out of the car, we hugged, and kissed, and said the things we thought we should.

I helped you bring the bags into the security, and waiting in line, I had to go.

 I hugged you tightly, and had to force myself to let go.

 This whole thing was probably so awkward for the workers, and your sister.

 Poor Sara. 

So, I let go, and you told me 'Good Luck' and I smiled, because, you need the luck right now, not me.

As I walk away, your hand slips from mine. That might have been the hardest thing to do, walk away from you. As I walk, my heart is pounding, and I tried to focus on the people around me. Ear buds in, walking fast.

I cave, and look back to you. You're in line, moving forward, with that massive carry-on.

I get to the sliding doors and take a quick, last look at you. You were at the front now, and half of you was blocked by a pillar. My sight becomes blurry, and brush the tears off. I wondered if you looked back for me, at all. And I walk through the doors, into the crisp, bitter night.

On the car drive home, I was okay. The sound track was perfect, with no crying, or crashing.

It was when I got to a stop light, I lost it. 

It was all setting in. 

And the chances of you running back for me, to me,changing your mind, were completely gone. 

Once I got home, I sat in the car and starred at the flowers you had given me.
You've never given me real flowers before.

And the street light made it seem like they were planted just for me. 

For this day.

When I went inside, and got into bed, I cried, and I fought even harder not to cry.

 But while I was falling asleep, a thought came into my head, that made tears stop, and my eyes shut. 

The thought was ' It was all real.'

I made this blog for you, to make the miles seem shorter, if you need.
I love you, kid.